Dragon Wars Z Abridged
by bearsage
Summary: Star wars characters doing their own version of dragon ball z abridged frieza saga skits


_**STARWARS ABRIDGED**_

 _ **Bearsage and Animefan1986 do not own starwars. Or dragon ball Z abridged**_

 **Darth Sidious:** Vaaader, Vaaaaaaader!

 **Darth Vader:** What is it, Lord Sidious?

 **Darth Sidious:** I saw a space-fish. That is all. Go back outside now.

 **Darth Vader (Thinking):** _Oh, god, this is so horribly dull. I hope something exiting happens around here soon. I don't care WHAT it is._

 **Darth Sidious: Vaadeeer!**

 **Darth Vader: What?**

 **Darth Sidious: I saw a space-bird. It was pretty. Kick its ass.**

 **Darth Sidious (After Vader refused to be called 'Big Black'):** Big Blaaack! Get in here.

 **Darth Vader:** Oh, guh-god dammit. What is it, Lord Sidious?

 **Darth Sidious:** I have a bitch of an itch on my left ass chee- Vader. Theres a Blue Stormtrooper standing behind you. Kill it like the rest!

 **Twi'lek #1:** Uh, actually, sir, I'm from Ryloth.

 **Darth Sidious:** Kill it like the rest.

 **Twi'lek #1:** Uuuhh...

 **Darth Vader:** uh, actually, sir, I think she has bussiness here about those people attacking the Death Star.

 **Twi'lek #1:** Yeah. We came here looking for work. And I see you have a lack of dancers. Well we are gonna make sure you have some.

 **Darth Sidious:** And how is that?

 **Twi'lek #1:** How do you think!

 **Darth Vader:** Learn your place, Twi'lek! You have some nerve demanding work from-

 **Darth Sidious:** Fine, your hired.

 **Darth Vader:** I- What?

 **Darth Sidious:** Just dont steal the HD Entertainment Holo-Projectors.

 **Darth Vader:** Sir, we... we don't HAVE HD Entertainment Holo-Projectors.

 **Darth Sidious:** …. Vader. Gather the best of the bounty hunters and tell them to get HD Entertainment Holo-Projectors.

 **Darth Vader:** Lord Sidious, that would be a grievous misuse of their abilities.

 **Darth Sidious:** I'm about to misuse my hand upside your head.

 **Darth Vader:** Sidious, sir. We have another traveler from Ryloth.

 **Darth Sidious:** Oh. Tell me you didn't let him inside.

 **Twi'lek #2:** Hello, Mr. Sidious.

 **Darth Sidious:** Oh, goddammit!

 **Twi'lek #2:** Mr. Sidious, sir? My friend told me you can help us by... touching me.

 **Darth Sidious:** Do I look Catholic to you?

 **Darth Vader:** Sir, I think he means he wants you to reach his hidden potential?

 **Twi'lek #2:** Yeah, that.

 **Darth Sidious:** Fine. Stand still. Its your first time, so I'll be gentle. Now relax as I reach DEEP inside you and grab hold of your essence!

 **Twi'lek #2:** I... need an adult?

 **Darth Sidious:** I AM AN ADUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLL-!

 **Darth Sidious:** Vaaaaaaader, do we have a visitor?

 **Darth Vader:** Yes, sir!

 **Darth Sidious:** Vaaaaaaader, take his coat!

 **Luke:** I dont have a coat.

 **Darth Vader:** He doesn't have a coat, sir! And I believe this is the man who killed 60% of our workforce.

 **Darth Sidious:** Vaaader. Don't take his coat.

 **Luke:** You see, I recently acquired what you people people refer to as 'Tie-Fighters', but I'm having trouble getting them to do what I want.

 **Darth Vader:** Did you try working the shaft?

 **Luke:** Classy.

 **Darth Sidious:** Vaaader, what does he want!?

 **Darth Vader:** He's asking how to use the Tie-Fighters!

 **Darth Sidious:** Did you tell him to work the shaft?

 **Darth Vader:** Yes, lord Sidious!

 **Darth Sidious:** Good work, Vader.

 **Luke:** I have the distinct impression you're going to be difficult.

 **Darth Vader:** Well, sir, if your having trouble with our customer support, you can call 1-800-Eat-A-D*ck.

 **Darth Sidious:** You don't even HAVE one those!

 **Luke:** Okay, this is getting ridiculous. What IS that? -force blasts Sidious's hiding screen-

 **Darth Sidious:** Oh my god! There's actual LIGHT!

 **Luke:** Good lord, I was led to believe you were an all powerful dark lord, who would have looked young and intimidating! How is he so old!?

 **Darth Sidious:** Oh. Hello. I'm Lord Sidious. And I'm the guy who's NOT judging you on your appearance.

 **Luke:** Well, my name is Luke, hero of most of the know galaxy. I'm here to offer you a deal. You give me the information I require, and I'll let the sporting young man live.

 **Darth Sidious:** Please. Vader isn't afraid of you. He is the strongest of our order.

 **Luke:** Oh, really?

 **Darth Vader:** Uhhh, sir?

 **Darth Sidious:** Yeah. Vader's gonna destroy your sorry ass! They wouldn't be able to air it on the news because it'll be sooooo BRUTAL!

 **Darth Vader:** Sir, seriously...

 **Darth Sidious:** Hush Vader! I'm speaking for you.

 **Luke:** Well, then, if this is the only course of action AVAILABLE to me, I accept.

 **Darth Vader:** Sir, his power is overwhelming! I can also sense its a fraction of what he's capable of.

 **Darth Sidious:** Vader. Listen to me. You are the Empires number one Sith warrior. A prodigy sith lord. You have been trained in the ancient ways! I believe in you.

 **Darth Vader:** You... mean that, Lord Sidious?

 **Darth Sidious:** Yes, Vader. Now show him the staggering power of the Sith, and waste his smug ass!

 **Darth Vader:** Yes sir! Follow me! -leaves with Luke-

 **Darth Sidious:** … Fool, if I had trained him in the new way, he might have stood a chance.

 _ **Authors note**_

 _ **DONT KILL US PLEASE WE LOVE STAR WARS THIS IS SOMETHING THAT POPPED INTO OUR TWISTED IMAGINATION**_

 _ **IF YOU DONT GET THE REFERANCES WATCH DBZ ABRIDGED FRIEZA SAGA**_

 _ **TO BE CONCLUDED IN A SHORT CHAPTER TWO!**_


End file.
